Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road.
Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again.
Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”
Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”
The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”
“No,” he said.
Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.
The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared it.”
Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.”
The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So Balaam went with Balak’s officials. Number 22:21-35
New International Version
Recently I heard a really good sermon on Numbers 22. The pastor challenged us that we all have a donkey we’re beating. We all have this thing that we want to go the way we planned, the way we think is best, and we won’t stop beating until it goes on the path we decided.
Gosh, did you see how many times I said “we” up there? That is down right ridiculous! Life isn’t about what we want. It’s about what God wants. See, when Balaam headed out on his donkey, he was going forward with money looming before him. If he went and cursed the Israelites, he was going to be paid well.
Obviously, God was against that plan from the very beginning. You’re probably thinking, duh, Balaam, you really think God’s going to give you a high five and hurry you along on that plan? But, really, think about it. When all you can see is your worldly benefit, do you see situations as the “uh-duh” moments they really are? Have you ever gone into a bad decision thinking “duh this is going to be stupid”? Or did you go into the situation only seeing your gain and your excitement?
See, this is how the human brain works, it’s only stupid if someone else did it (I suggest reading Unoffendable by Brant Hansen, he also points that out in his book). I have asked people before, “If God told a person that their drug usage was a problem they needed to surrender, and they used drugs less, do you think that’s what God meant?” Without hesitation the answer was “no.” However, then I changed the situation. I asked, “Ok, then, since God told you this thing is a problem and that you need to surrender, and you’re doing it less, do you think that’s what God meant?” After that there was a long period of silence and then no response to that question. Instead, there were long periods of reasoning in an attempt to justify their behavior. Humans do this because we don’t want to admit we’re in the wrong. I do this, you’ve done it, your Grandma’s done it!
Balaam did it too.
The donkey asked Balaam why he’d beat him and Balaam’s response was “you made me look foolish.” Instead of admitting that he beat the donkey because he was mad he didn’t get his way, he deflected and put the blame on the donkey. Balaam was the only one making himself look foolish, not the donkey. The donkey was going off track to protect Balaam from the danger up ahead. Foolishly, instead of allowing God to redirect him to safety, Balaam decided beating the donkey and getting mad was the right option.
Now we get to focus a little on ourselves. What keeps getting redirected, or addressed as wrong in your life that you refuse to admit is not God’s will? What makes you mad when it doesn’t follow your 5 step plan to success? Why do you have to have it your way in this situation? You got answers to these questions?
You’ve got to admit it’s wrong before you can get God’s better plan.
When Balaam finally admitted that he had sinned, that is when God gave him the new and better game plan. Balaam had to get over himself and realize that God knows what is best even if it doesn’t give us the money, relationship, or whatever we want.
God’s really been speaking on surrender in my personal Bible reading. No matter what book of the Bible I’m reading in, He brings it back to that. Literally last night He was talking to me and had me write in my journal that to prepare the way for Jesus’s coming, we have to get our butts out of the way. Our lack of surrender does not work with God’s plan.
We can hold onto something until the day we die, but that will never make it right. It will make us miserable, though. In reality, we’re picking between Jesus and whatever it is that we refuse to give up. It’s such an intense and painful question to answer but, are you going to pick Jesus or your desires and your plans? You can’t have both.
No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. Matthew 6:24
New Living Translation
You can substitute so many things for money in this sentence. “You cannot serve God and be enslaved to your boyfriend/girlfriend.” or how about “You cannot serve God and be enslaved to your addictions.” Whatever it is you are holding onto, put it in that sentence. Do you still want it so bad? Do you really want it more than God?
This is usually right about the time people tap out. It gets too personal, too uncomfortable, and too intense. If you don’t want to get personal, uncomfortable, or intense, you really entered the wrong religion. The Bible is full of personal, uncomfortable, and intense moments, teachings, and corrections. Not to mention Jesus was never a people pleaser. He was always looking out for the good of His beloved creation and never sugar coated the truth to make people feel better about it.
Here is where you have to really want to press into Jesus. I have to get super uncomfortable with Jesus on a fairly regular basis. For example, I’ve been extremely ticked off with someone for a while now. If I told you the situation, you’d probably think I was justified, however, there is no justified offense or anger (cue second plug for Unoffendable by Brant Hansen). God told me last night to lay that person down… again. God literally told me, “Lay down what you picked back up.” I mean, dude, can it get any more uncomfortable, personal, and intense than God calling out that you gave Him something and then you took it back?
When we stop listening to God, that’s when we’re in a really-really bad place. That’s when we’ve decided that our way is best, God doesn’t know anything, He’s a party pooper that we only want when He works in our plans… does any of that sound remotely ok? I hope you said no.
So, what do we do? We give things up. Yes, seems simple, seems super easy. It’s not. This is a process you have to intentionally pursue. You have to first, admit you sinned and specifically call out that sin. Then, you have to apologize to God, and if you’ve wronged someone else, apologize to them too. Next, you ask God for help setting aside that sin and not inviting it back into your life.
Giving that sin a little less time is not the same as surrendering it.
When God says “surrender,” He doesn’t mean put it on a leash. What He means is that whatever you’re holding onto is not from Him, you need to get rid of it, and He wants your heart back. Totally severing connection with the temptation, the sin, and the source is necessary. I know, it’s hard, but it’s important.
I am very aware that I stepped on several toes. I don’t care. Your eternity means so much more to me than your temporary approval and emotions. I go through this cycle of laying down my junk privately, and with my family, and with fellow church members. I keep laying things down no matter how personal it gets because that’s what God wants. Are you willing to do that even if it means you finally admit to others you were wrong? Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Today may be your last day. Do you want to die still gripping your sin? Or do you want to die with your hands open and praising God? Now’s the time to choose.
