Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, because you know that we will be judged more strictly. For we all stumble in many ways. If someone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect individual, able to control the entire body as well. And if we put bits into the mouths of horses to get them to obey us, then we guide their entire bodies. Look at ships too: Though they are so large and driven by harsh winds, they are steered by a tiny rudder wherever the pilot’s inclination directs. So too the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it has great pretensions. Think how small a flame sets a huge forest ablaze. And the tongue is a fire! The tongue represents the world of wrongdoing among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the entire body and sets fire to the course of human existence—and is set on fire by hell.
For every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and sea creature is subdued and has been subdued by humankind. But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters. A spring does not pour out fresh water and bitter water from the same opening, does it? Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers and sisters, or a vine produce figs? Neither can a salt water spring produce fresh water. James 3:1-12
New English Translation
Words matter. Words reveal who you are. They speak what has been hidden away in your heart. Through your words, a person determines whether they can trust you and whether they see good or bad within you.
The good person out of the good treasury of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasury produces evil, for his mouth speaks from what fills his heart. Luke 6:45
“How are you able to say anything good, since you are evil? For the mouth speaks from what fills the heart. The good person brings good things out of his good treasury, and the evil person brings evil things out of his evil treasury. I tell you that on the day of judgment, people will give an account for every worthless word they speak. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:34-40
New English Translation
Jesus makes it clear that the words you use will either prove you innocent or prove you guilty. Clearly, words hold a lot of power. Yet, we throw around words with little to no regard about what is actually being said on a regular basis. What is the solution to this?
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1
New English Translation
Paul makes it clear that without love, words are worthless, even if nice words are said. You ever been around one of those people say something nice technically but you can tell they didn’t mean it? That’s someone speaking without love, pretending that they do have love in their speech. Some people are even more obvious by saying things that are totally and clearly unkind and unloving. What does love look like in speech, though?
Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
New English Translation
Are your words reflecting this? Or are you losing your tempter because you’re impatient? Are you bragging because you are insecure and envious of another? Do your words reflect pride? The list can go on. These are a perfect example of how to test whether your words are filled with love or not.
However, not every hurtful word or loveless comment is intentional. Sometimes, we just accidentally hurt someone, which even happens sometimes without even realizing it. How do we fix that problem as well as if words are not being spoken with love on purpose? Well, the solution is the same for both. God.
We must always turn to God for rescue and help. He has all wisdom, and He’s willing to offer it to you if you ask for it. King Solomon is a great example of this:
One night in Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream. God said, “Tell me what I should give you.” Solomon replied, “You demonstrated great loyalty to your servant, my father David, as he served you faithfully, properly, and sincerely. You have maintained this great loyalty to this day by allowing his son to sit on his throne. Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in my father David’s place, even though I am only a young man and am inexperienced. Your servant stands among your chosen people; they are a great nation that is too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning mind so he can make judicial decisions for your people and distinguish right from wrong. Otherwise no one is able to make judicial decisions for this great nation of yours.” The Lord was pleased that Solomon made this request. God said to him, “Because you asked for the ability to make wise judicial decisions, and not for long life, or riches, or vengeance on your enemies, I grant your request and give you a wise and discerning mind superior to that of anyone who has preceded or will succeed you. Furthermore, I am giving you what you did not request—riches and honor so that you will be the greatest king of your generation. If you follow my instructions by obeying my rules and regulations, just as your father David did, then I will grant you long life.” 1 Kings 3:5-14
New English Translation
Solomon asked and God heard his request and gave him wisdom. God’s wisdom is full of love, He never speaks a word without consideration, without knowing what He was saying. If God knows how to do it, then reasonably we can rely on His help to learn how to speak that same way.
Now, don’t be discouraged, everyone makes mistakes and says the wrong thing a time or two. Though God will help you learn to do better, you’re still a human in a broken world. Perfection is not your goal, it’s obedience to God He desires. When those mistakes do happen, the important thing to do is recognize the wrong and accept responsibility for it. But, most of all, you must place it before God and allow Him to teach you through it. If a mistake merely makes you feel bad but no real change comes from it, then you’re not moving on from it, just wallowing in it.
So, do you speak with love? Or do you need some growth in that area? My guess would be that everyone needs at least a little growth in that area. Thankfully, God is ready and willing to help anyone who asks.