There are several reasons that your heart can hurt. Maybe you’ve recently lost a loved one. Maybe things are just a little rocky right now. The options are limitless. Don’t be discouraged, though, because sometimes my heart hurts, too. You’re not alone, and we can find healing in the same spot. God.
The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he delivers those who are discouraged. Psalm 34:18
He heals the brokenhearted, and bandages their wounds. Psalm 147:3
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You’re not abandoned when you struggle. He doesn’t leave the mess behind and look for something prettier or easier. When people just complicate the pain, the disappointment, and the hurt, God just holds you in a big hug and lets you know everything will be okay. See, a lot of times we try to find the solution in humans, but truly God is the only one who can handle our problems. First and foremost, we should go to Him with our issues.
And God will exalt you in due time, if you humble yourselves under his mighty hand by casting all your cares on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
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In our pride, our desire to make ourselves better and hold it all together, we tend to try and take the self-help approach. We want to make ourselves better without any help. However, part of serving God is humbly accepting the fact that He wants to help us and we need His help. With a willing heart we need to lay our tears before Him, the ache we feel inside, and ask Him to help us let go of it and let Him touch it. If we’re not willing to humble ourselves, whether it be the need to humble ourselves because we think we can fix it on our own or because we believe we deserve to feel hurt for the rest of our lives, we have to become humble before the King of Glory so He can help us heal fully.
But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins. Matthew 6:15
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Sometimes, healing involves forgiving. That could be forgiving someone else or yourself. That can be a difficult step to take. However, if you’re not willing to forgive, then you’re not willing to let go of the self-justification for feeling hurt. Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the one being forgiven, but for the benefit of the forgiver. Unforgiveness eats at a person’s soul, growing bitterness and stealing their joy for living. The person not being forgiven generally doesn’t know nor care that they aren’t being forgiven, yet the one withholding forgiveness is harboring a “justified” hatred that is eating them alive and not achieving the payback their hurt desires.
In everything, treat others as you would want them to treat you, for this fulfills the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12
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If you’re not willing to humble yourself and forgive another, than why should God show you mercy and forgive you? Clearly, if your standard is that grudges should be held and no one can be forgiven, then that same standard should be held against you. You get to decide whether you will be forgiven by God. What’s your choice?
The one who forgives an offense seeks love, but whoever repeats a matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
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Forgiving someone does not guarantee that the entire situation is fixed and that you will be the best of buddies with the person who hurt you. But, it does mean that you are putting the effort in to allow God to heal you and mend what He can. Instead of you choosing to push people away and let offense after offense build a barrier between you and others, you are letting God show you who He wants close to you and who should be held at arms length. If someone is continually hurting you, they’re best suited for arms length, not point blank.
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a person, it passes through waterless places looking for rest but does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the home I left.’ When it returns, it finds the house empty, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there, so the last state of that person is worse than the first. It will be that way for this evil generation as well!” Matthew 12:43-45
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An important thing to remember is that when you give up all the hurt, you release all the unforgiveness, you must ask God to fill up the space in your heart that it once held. If you don’t replace it with God, then something else equal or worse to what was harboring there will find a home in that empty space.
Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and make your hearts pure, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and weep. Turn your laughter into mourning and your joy into despair. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you. James 4:8-10
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When you humble yourself before Him, you must choose to draw near to Him. You must choose to let Him draw near to you. He’s ready to come and comfort you and help you, He’s just waiting for permission.
The Lord deserves praise. Day after day he carries our burden, the God who delivers us. Psalm 68:19
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When your heart hurts, it can feel like you have to carry it all and you have to carry it on your own. That’s not true. God is there waiting for you to let Him carry the load for you. He’s a gentleman, though, so He’s not going to do anything without your permission. He’s not ignoring you, He’s never abandoned you, He’s just waiting on you.